I’ve been thinking about this post for 3 or 4 days now, and I still don’t know what to say. I am so tired, so tired of all of it. I can’t take any more…I don’t want to deal with anything else. Radar died last night. Michael and I were sitting on the couch watching the Purina Incredible Dog Challenge with him, and all of the sudden his mouth started twitching and drooling a lot and then started having a whole-body seizure. We took him to the emergency clinic, where they did a chest x-ray and found his lungs full of cancer. The vet said it was a black and white case, that we should put him down and not prolong his suffering. He had had another seizure in the back when they were doing the x-ray and they had treated it with valium. He was so tired and sloppy when they brought him out for us to say goodbye…there was still a lot for him to smell so he circled around trying to do that before lying down in between us all. Then the vet came in and did the euthanasia and he died still lying in between us. We had just gotten home after 4 days of hell last night…we think he had at least one seizure while we weren’t there, because there was a lot of drool on the floor…I am glad we made it home for all of us to be there, but gosh it was just like not today after everything this break. I’m sure he’s in a better place now, and he doesn’t hurt quite so much. I don’t want to go back to Chicago. Mom is just a wreck and these next two weeks are going to be awful too. I don’t want her to have to bear it alone but Todd and I both have finals and crap to do before we come home again for Christmas break. I hope they just go as quickly as possible, and then we can deal with everything else when we get back. I really do hope Grandma and Poppa are still planning on spending Christmas with us–we really need their support. We’ve been texting them everything that’s been going on this week and I think they are as worried as we are about everything…we’re trying to rely on God and remember that he is sovereign over everything and everyone, and that he protects his people. It is hard to believe while all of this is going on, but we have no other choice. Hopefully today is a better day.